APOLARITY

I’m feeling…out of sorts. After the third social situation in two days in which I don’t feel fully there, I have this energy, this angst; hopefully writing can relieve it a bit.

I have a new friend. Or, technically an old acquaintance, which after a long lapse of time we both want to pursue a friendship, and whom I consider a prime candidate for becoming a good friend; Tim is the best potential friend I have had in a long time. He is interested in Eastern spirituality, the arts, technology, yoga, and is uncomfortable with yet strangely bonded to evangelicalism. He told me about an [Eastern] Orthodox monastery (ROCOR) that he visited near Seattle, at which the monks roast coffee. I am going to plan a trip out in the next couple months.

I’m very hopeful and optimistic for this new friendship. It is much needed and a long time in coming.

Speaking of things being a long time in coming, Josh and I won in a 2v2 game of Starcraft for the first time.

I have long thought that God has big things in store for the church, and that the church is going to grow in strength. I am increasingly thinking that it is coming in a way that is unexpected, and that is certainly unwelcome to much of Christianity.

In high school, when I was experiencing spiritual renewal through the “Toronto Blessing,” I remember learning about moves of God; how one will stagnate, become institutionalized, and lash out at those who are bringing change – which is often the next thing God is doing. I wondered at the time how this movement could possibly be averse to change, because they were open to any new methods and manifestations. I found it hard to understand this movement lashing out on anything new that God has to offer.

I have realized recently (no big revelation to you, my dear reader) that these circles I have experienced, while being open to new practices, still presupposed evangelicalism and the “Christian Right.” Would they be so open to a move of God that called them to love their neighbor, even if he is Muslim or liberal or homosexual? Would they accept and bless the spirituality of other traditions: Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Mainline Protestantism? Would they accept a new appreciation of liturgy, of the saints; monasticism? What would they think if someone told them that the kingdom of God is not America?

Maybe Brian McLaren was right in saying that it may be easier for “traditional” evangelical churches to transition into postmodernity than for those that adopted a modern contemporary model. It will be especially hard, I imagine, for those churches that are successful at that model; that draw many people with a “seeker sensitive” model of programs and services (both meanings) that seem to thrive by what “needs” they can meet in others. It is all like some sort of chain marketing scheme: the hook, the bait, the pitch, the clincher, get you in the door, join the club, now tell all your friends. At its worst, it is enough to make me sick.

Think about the transition from the medieval time to modernity. It didn’t come easily, and the church certainly lagged behind in accepting a shifting worldview.

I don’t want to be only critical, however; I do want to chart out a new way. I do think that some churches and many individuals will make this new transition, and I believe the church will grow and be stronger as it furthers the kingdom of God.

At Starbucks, a mentor figure is called a “learning coach.” One of my favorite managers that I have worked with is Ibrahim, at a store where I occasionally cover shifts. Ib is actually quitting the company; tomorrow is his last day. Despite the stress and the craziness of the changeover, he took the time to have a couple very helpful conversations with me today.

I was thinking about what makes Ibrahim great, and what I came up with is immediately applicable to church leadership:

1. He is focused on development – raising up future leaders. He made sure I was setting myself up for success in my upcoming interviews for a potential promotion, and told me how to position myself after the promotion to continue to develop my skills.

2. Sets a good example – in work ethic and attentiveness. He takes advantage of little opportunities to teach; he develops great relationships with people inside and outside the company; he isn’t afraid to confront a challenge (like a shoplifter) head-on.

3. He submits to others’ leadership – I think he is the only manager who treated me as if I were running the shift (I was the supervisor on duty) instead of doing his own thing because he is the manager. He asked me where I wanted him, how he could help me, and for permission to leave to do managerial-type work.

Here’s to you, Ib.

I may be ready to come back.

I miss this place.

I was thinking about people who don’t write; people who have no record of what they thought and felt and experienced 5, 10, 40 years ago. It’s sad; I picture a man sitting on a recliner, not remembering his joys, his sorrows, the excitements and that which was commonplace a few years ago. Some movies have picked up on this: I just recently watched About Schmidt and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I want to remember high school: what my motivations were, what I did with my time, what I learned, what movies I watched, what gave me the spark of life, how my worldview was shaped. I definately think I will want to read my old journals again and again, reminding myself even of the mundane.

I am almost finished with A New Kind of Christian. It is shaping me, revealing how I have changed, challenging me, and giving words and (more) concrete definition to what I have been feeling. My ecclesiology is evolving; it is changing everything else. More to come – in fact, this blog may evolve into primarily my thoughts on the church.