APOLARITY

Jeremiah 20:

7 O LORD, you deceived me, and I was deceived;

you overpowered me and prevailed.

I am ridiculed all day long;

everyone mocks me.

8 Whenever I speak, I cry out

proclaiming violence and destruction.

So the word of the LORD has brought me

insult and reproach all day long.

9 But if I say, “I will not mention him

or speak any more in his name,”

his word is in my heart like a fire,

a fire shut up in my bones.

I am weary of holding it in;

indeed, I cannot.

…

14 Cursed be the day I was born!

May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!

15 Cursed be the man who brought my father the news,

who made him very glad, saying,

“A child is born to you—a son!”

16 May that man be like the towns

the LORD overthrew without pity.

May he hear wailing in the morning,

a battle cry at noon.

17 For he did not kill me in the womb,

with my mother as my grave,

her womb enlarged forever.

18 Why did I ever come out of the womb

to see trouble and sorrow

and to end my days in shame?

There are many Biblical examples of expressing anger at God, even using “extreme” language to do so. I think it is important to our theology that God is not threatened by our anger.

In fact, I have come to believe that this can be a form of worship, as it presupposes that God is able to intervene in our life situations, even (especially?) when we experience painful circumstances.

I have been increasingly feeling unease with many who go by the name of “Christian.” This goes beyond snobbery, beyond politics, beyond theology – it penetrates to the very heart of mankind. I want to take pains to clarify that I am not trying to distance myself from those with whom I disagree; this is something far more basic and fundamental.

My spirituality has less to do with preserving doctrinal purity or moral homogeneity than learning how to love my neighbor as myself, being self-sacrificial, and being a blessing to all people.

This unease has led me to begin to feel like I don’t worship the same God anymore. This guy celebrates a pastor’s tragic death because of his sermon content. There are more examples, but I am just getting sick of it all.

Instead of focusing on the negative, on what I hate, I thought it would be useful and worthwhile to enumerate who I do worship. To that end, I have started working on a creed. I will probably work out a couple different versions – an extended one for self-edification and theological gratification, as well as a shorter version for possible liturgical use.

So far I have been taking prominent biblical figures, and accentuating what they had to add to our understanding of God. For example, “I worship the God of Abraham, who blesses us and calls us to be a blessing to all people everywhere.”

What do you think?

“Churches on the left are declining, and churches on the right are becoming mentally ill.” – Brian McLaren

(I don’t know if the quote has much to do with what I am saying, but it’s pretty funny.)

Things are much different around here since quitting at the green machine. Primarily, it’s really weird to actually have weekends off like the rest of normal people (well, most of my friends are teachers or office workers).

I don’t have to shmooze with hundreds of people I don’t care about every day.

I don’t have to be on my feet for 8 hours straight.

I don’t have to get up at 3:30 in the morning any more.
In some ways, I don’t know what to do with myself, having evenings and weekends free. On the other hand, though, I haven’t yet gotten into a pattern of making the most of my time. I have been enjoying the time to read and listen to music while on the bus commute, but haven’t been journaling.

I guess all that to say, changing careers has been a mixed bag. Any time you make such a drastic change as that, there will be some changes that are positive, and some sacrifices to be made. It is really obvious to me that the positive changes vastly outweigh the negative ones with this change.

I don’t think this post even makes sense. I will have to blog more to push it down the page.